Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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