I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
