i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
