do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
