remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
