I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
