what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
