hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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