Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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