i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
