You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
