I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
