OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I did not marry a roomba.
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