That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
