Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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