I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
