There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
