Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
