thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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