soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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