Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
