dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
