There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I party with great urgency now.
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