Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need water and some morals
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