i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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