gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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