dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
