Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he shaved USA in his pubs
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
