I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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