I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
