oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
