yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I believe in your delicious
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
