Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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