Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
