I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
