Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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