oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
