dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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