Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
