So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I believe in your delicious
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
