people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
