What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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