The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
