That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize