Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
