Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
