____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Randomize
