i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
grandma shit on top of the toilet
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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