The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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