So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My vagina just recognized that song.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You can't just leave with hair like that
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
