I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
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