Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
