I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
