Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
