her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
