This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
