why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
