I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
