Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
