the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
