So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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