I cockslap morals
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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