just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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