You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
so that wasnt chicken after all
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
ok first of all what the fuck
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
