Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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