I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
