I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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