Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
