The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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