i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
